They also influence your thoughts, your beliefs, your values, your expectations, and your perspectives about yourself, about others and about life. What influence does my cultural indoctrination have over my choices and decisions? Independence, of course, doesn’t mean that you will no longer allow yourself to be influenced by others. Unlike persuasion, which is typically intentional and requires some degree of awareness on the part of the target, social influence may be inadvertent or accidental. For more articles or information visitwww.generativenlp.com info@generativenlp.com, Charles Moore • Uxbridge Road • Kingston • Surrey • KT1 2LL • UK •© 2001-2021 Generative NLP • All Rights Reserved. Today you think, believe and perceive things a certain way because it feels natural and normal. An example of internalisation is if someo… And if that’s the case, then you will need to urgently work through the guidelines for overcoming influence found in the final section of this article. However, in the end, make your own decisions. And the more access you have to this diversity of things, the more you understand about the world, the more you understand about others, and the more you understand about yourself. This completely robs you of choice. To value your personal time means that you understand what’s most important. How will I develop long-term relationships with them? You always have the freedom to choose. Establish trust. How to Influence People, Tame Shyness, & Insecurity, Heal Emotional Trauma: Self Help, Book 4 (Audio Download): Amazon.co.uk: Tony Sanders, Jim Rising, Michele Rubini: Audible Audiobooks Relational Intelligence: Improve Your Social Skills, Overcome Anxiety in … However, your peers are moving in an opposite direction. What will my life be like in the future if I continue to allow myself to be influenced in this way? We might have an opportunity to invest in a promising start-up business, but turn it down because we're worried about what our parents will say. Understand ways to overcome barriers in a health and social care environment 🎓There are different ranges of environmental factors which impact the communication but also the interaction within the health and social care environment. As such, their influence isn’t aligned with your deepest wants, desires, and needs, and will, therefore, cause you a great deal of regret and pain in the long-run. Whether or not mistakes are made, you have the final word on everything that needs to get done to achieve the end goal. Determine in your own mind the things that you will accept and the things you won’t accept. Real-life examples illustrate how the methods described have brought about positive changes in a range of situations. Informative social influence (or social proof) People feel the need to be informed by accurate information, and when they lack confidence in their own knowledge, they turn to others in the hope that they will provide them with the correct information. I Don’t Know What to Post/I’ll Post the Wrong Thing. It will help you unlock and transform the hidden patterns that are shaping your life as you know it. In order to step out of the shadow that other people cast upon you, it’s absolutely vital that you clarify your personal standards. However, you must clarify your life’s purpose independently of other people. Identify available time slots. When we work out a maze in a puzzle book, we might start from the center of the maze - the outcome - and work our way back to the starting point. You might, for instance, choose to coach a junior sports team, or to take a dance class, or to become a project manager for a small task at work. Collective paradigms have evolved over the course of human evolutionary history. Speech problems can happen for no clear reason or because of a: 1. stammer 2. cleft palate 3. brain injury 4. hearing problem One of the biggest obstacles people face when trying to learn to decide independently - without relying on negative social influences - is the tendency to over think their decisions. This is bad because you are fully relying on other people to provide you with cues on how you should act, what you should think, and the things you should believe in. Then they make sure that the plan is brought to fruition through consistent effort over time. Many of us, having felt pain as a result of people reacting poorly to our decisions, have a high degree of sensitivity to others' reactions well into our adult life. First, parents should check their children’s social media use. These are things that are rarely if ever questioned. Explanation:...Read More. Only then will you have the foundations you need to become a more independent thinker. It’s therefore paramount that you focus on building your relationships on a deep emotional level. What have these people got me doing, saying, thinking, reading and listening to on a daily basis? 1. Find your niche. They are the things that matter most to you, and as such, they should influence every decision you make and action you take. When you’re under the influence of others, you will often focus on what other people want and expect from you. It’s up to you to make the right choices moving forward. – Samuel Johnson. Do your own work. By accepting this information, regardless of whether it is accurate, the person is subjected to social influence. You make independent choices, decisions and you do what you feel is necessary to live your life with purpose. When you have skills as a public presenter, you put yourself in the spotlight and become a teacher, educator or entertainer of sorts. . Most people will, of course, have good intentions. They are the people who can help you become the person you seek to be, and they are the people who will inspire you to become an independent thinker. And that’s where the MasterMind Matrix comes into the picture. How will that feel? It means living with a sense of purpose, following your core values, and having concrete goals in place that you are consistently working towards. Explanation:... 3 more answers. In fact, every group of people who spend a majority of their time together will form their own collective beliefs, opinions, and perspectives about things. Publicly changing behavior to fit in with the group while also agreeing with them privately. The Collective Paradigm. A garden needs water to grow just as much as relationships need love and attention to grow. You don’t question why you drink coffee in the morning; you don’t question why you eat three meals per day; you don’t question why it’s polite to say “thank you”; you don’t question why people get married; you don’t question why you need to go to work every day; you don’t question why almost everyone drinks milk; you don’t question why it’s important to get an education; you don’t question why you believe in your faith; you don’t question why we need politicians; you don’t question why buildings have windows; you don’t question why men wear ties; you don’t question why women wear high heels; you don’t question why there are road rules, etc. No longer do you accept things as they are. Ask yourself: What influence do my peers have over my life? These values will help direct your choices and decisions throughout the day, and as a result, you will be less likely to fall prey to the influence of other people’s perspectives and opinions. And as a result of these feelings, you make a different set of choices and decisions that lead you away from your desired destination and instead towards a destination filled with regret and pain. And reestablishing that connection might mean that we will discourage the other person from doing something — unknowingly pulling them away from their goals and aspirations. How have these people influenced my emotions, habits, self-talk, beliefs and choices over the years? You can choose whether or not others will influence your choices, decisions and actions, and to what extent they will influence you. I’m talking about the bigger picture that has shaped the evolution of humanity over the course of millions of years. How? Before you go through the following set of suggestions that will help you to become a more independent thinker, consider for a moment your social circle of friends, colleagues, family members and other people who influence you on a daily basis, and ask yourself: Who is within my social sphere of influence? How to Overcome Hurt and Start Moving on with Your Life. They rely on others to provide them cues about what they should believe, what they must say in certain situations, and the kinds of perspectives and opinions they should hold onto. Be Effusive with Praise. You have all these wonderful things you want to do, however, these things will never come to fruition because your peers are pulling you onto a different path. When you are a leader, you become the decision-maker. You undoubtedly have things you would like to do over a lifetime. Make a Conscious Effort to Form Your Own Opinion. You might, in fact, have some wonderful goals that you would like to achieve. About myself? Many technological advances and conveniences that have made our lives easier and less active, many personal variables, including physiological, behavioural, and psychological factors, may affect our plans to become more physically active. And until an independent radical thinker with influence and power presents things in another way, then we will simply continue to believe what we believe, to think what we think, to expect what we have come to expect and to do what we do. In fact, you should feel uneasy, because if you’re being seduced by peer influence, then your life isn’t really your own life. But that's easier said than done, right? Do your own work. objective: date: fferent styles of food service - this involves the presentation and service of food to the guest ly the restaurant staff from the food platter or dish to the guest plate, with the help of a service gear. If not, then you will choose another perspective because it serves your greater good. Instead, you question opinions, you question the facts, and you question the circumstances. Likewise you begin thinking more critically about other people’s perspectives and opinions. Would you like a method for applying these ideas to your life? We also enjoy the company of others. Consider for a moment that your peers might not have a positive influence on your life. When all is said and done it’s, of course, important that you maintain your independence. By becoming an independent thinker you are giving yourself a choice. This naturally places you in a leadership role and puts you in a position of authority. If you spend time with confident people, or at least people working on improving their confidence, then they will influence and encourage you to develop your social skills. Finally, teenagers should be advised and educated on the best way to use social media. There are certain things you accept without question. As such, they will constantly burden their friends with pessimism and problems, in an unconscious attempt to keep them at their baseline level. Have your end-goal in mind and make decisions that are in your best interests, in the best interest of others, and serve the greater good of all concerned. In order to avoid falling into this trap, you must take the time to set your own personal standards and expectations. Don’t resist. It’s kind of like implanting a thought into your brain – an upgrade of sorts that optimizes how you think about these concepts and ideas. In studying compliance, social psychologists aim to examine overt and subtle social influences and their relationship to compliance. Effective decision-making is the key to an effective life. People experience a variety of personal and environmental barriers to engaging in regular physical activity. All of a sudden there are an endless array of possibilities lying before you. Identify at least … You most likely do many things today a certain way because of specific childhood experiences you have had. If you’re intrigued by the idea of using mind maps for self-improvement then I would like to invite you to become an IQ Matrix Member. There are many things in life that we simply do not question. If we do this, then we're well on our way to overcoming the social influences that stand in the path of our decision-making. To identify whether you are being seduced by peer influence, take into consideration the following symptoms: You are consistently obsessed with your appearance. Buy Relational Intelligence: Improve your Social Skills, Overcome Anxiety in Relationships, Boost your Self Esteem and Confidence. You either set these standards yourself, or you allow others to set them for you. If for instance, you had a different set of childhood experiences, then you would think very differently today, which would lead to different choices and decisions. In fact, many of your opinions might be a result of a combination of things others have told you. It is said that you are the average sum total of your five closest friends. For instance, at one stage, it was widely believed that the earth was flat. Everything that has happened over the course of time has led to this very moment in time. You now have a sense of purpose of your own and a destination you are working towards. It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. They are the people who set the goal and put a plan of action in place. To overcome social anxiety and develop confidence, try the following 10 steps: 1. Something you’re really interested in and you’re able to tell people something new, … Things are the way they are because at one stage the masses accepted that things should be this way and not another way. Once you’ve clarified your life’s purpose, take time to set a specific set of goals that will help you fulfill that purpose. This skill will help you better understand other people’s motives, and with greater awareness of other people’s psychological tendencies, you will be less susceptible to their influence. And what’s worse, is that all of a sudden you are relying on these people to support your self-esteem. If people don’t trust you, they won’t allow you to influence them. You are the one responsible for the decision, and you are the one accountable for the consequences of that decision. In other words, your past is shaping your present. People feel inadequate if their friends are making progress in life and leaving them behind. Are we headed more or less in the same direction? They are the things you believe to be true without fully understanding the circumstances or situation. Your life is stagnating and you have no idea why. Yes, of course, you are somewhat in control. Allow this to happen, and just keep moving forward. They are in some ways small targets that you set for a variety of life scenarios that provide you with the feedback you need to gauge how things are going. They shape how we think, what we say, how we do things, and the perspectives we hold about relationships, friendships, people, career, health, business, religion, etc. There are however other people who are less independent thinkers who are often seduced by peer influence. Getting to know these people will put you in their world and will help you to gain insights into how they think, decide and do things throughout the day. In other words, the extent of influence that your past has over your life is not so much determined by what actually happened, but rather by how you remember, interpret and perceive what actually happened. Immediately step out from under the umbrella of peer influence allow you to instigate this.. Get back their hands said than done, right pulled away from your friends on social networking sites the direction. 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